The Fire Safe: Check Your Heart

In my home, we have a small fire safe, a sturdy box designed to protect a few vital items from destruction in the event of a fire. It's small and has limited space, so we must be intentional about what we place inside. Typically, we store our most essential items inside it: passports, birth certificates, some cash, and a few things we consider irreplaceable. When everything around us starts burning, the fire safe is what we will run to. Imagine your house is on fire. You have mere moments to ensure everyone gets to safety, grab what's in your safe, and flee. You don't have time to think about what's inside; you trust that what you've placed in there is what's most important to you.

Just like that fire safe, our hearts have limited space, and we must choose wisely and intentionally what to keep in them. If we fill our hearts with hate or anger or hold onto things in the past, there's no room for love, joy, and a vision for the future. At some point, the house is going to burn. In that same way, when you're faced with a crisis or an emotionally charged situation, you won't have time to sift through what's inside. When life's inevitable fires start burning everything around us, whatever we've stored in our hearts will come out.

The Importance of Choice

Your spirit is who you are. Who you are in character and principle. The part of you that will be with you through eternity. Your heart is what you are. What you focus on. What you think about. What you decide to hold on to. And ultimately, what you let into your life. We must understand that with mindful intention, we have the ability to determine what each of those "whats" are. Our spirit does not change. We can only change what we allow into our hearts.

One of the best things my wife has done with our girls is step in at times and say, "Check your heart." When they take a moment and do, they quickly realize whatever they were doing or saying at the time didn't sit right in their heart. It's incredible to step back and observe children act in the natural manner in which we are all so capable. Long before they become jaded with resentment and regret, hatred and anger for things beyond their control, and well before they have fear and anxiety from something that has harmed them.

It becomes complex for adults to "check your heart."  If you've filled your heart with hate, you have no room to show or express love. Hate consumes space and energy, leaving no room for anything else. When the fires start, whether it's an argument with someone or a challenge at work, hate will be the first thing to emerge, overshadowing any potential for you to guide your actions. Anger is a powerful emotion, often justified and sometimes necessary, but if it becomes your default setting, it leaves no room to allow for life's joys. In moments of stress or difficulty, anger will leap to the forefront, denying you the healing and uplifting power you could have inside you. Betrayal wounds deeply and can be challenging to let go of, but if it takes up permanent residence in your heart, it will block new connections from ever forming. We have a choice.

Making Space for the Positive

To ensure that the best parts of ourselves emerge during life's fires, we must consciously choose what we keep in our hearts—what we keep in the fire safe. This requires regular self-reflection and a willingness to let go of the negative emotions that can so easily take up residence and begin to create damage, stealing from you like a squatter. We must practice continuously shifting away from these feelings.

Here are some steps to help make this shift:

Self-Awareness:

Regularly check in with yourself to identify what emotions dominate your heart. Are they positive or negative? As described above, evaluating what certain emotions may be robbing you of in your life brings the consequence of negativity to the forefront. Exercises like Tony Robbins' "Away Values" are great for highlighting these emotions and their consequences.

Letting Go:

Practice forgiveness and letting go of past hurts. This doesn't mean forgetting or condoning wrongs but rather freeing yourself from their grip. Examining the meaning you have placed on certain things or situations and the emotion you have attached to them can help guide you in this effort.

Fostering Positivity:

Actively cultivate positive emotions and relationships. Spend time with the things and people that bring light into your life and engage in activities that bring you joy. Be conscious of the information feed you allow into your mind and heart (social media, TV programming, friends, and even family).

Mindfulness:

Use mindfulness techniques to stay present and manage your emotions. This helps in keeping your heart filled with what truly matters. Breathwork is a great way to step inside and "Check your heart." Check out our friend Daniel de Luis, who is a great guide.

Gratitude:

Understanding our Mental Performance Triad will help you quickly shift your focus and language. Learn to focus on the abundance in your life. A scarcity mindset can stifle positive emotions if your outlook is skewed to find what is missing or lacking. Certain priming techniques, maintaining a gratitude journal, and our outlook on personal development can all significantly impact learning to live in gratitude.

Being Present:

Learning to be fully present in the moment allows us to quiet the mind, minimize distractions, and remove the thought of what's behind us or what is yet to come. The Warriors Path of the Mindset Triad provides several tools to reduce outside influence and remain present.

Just as a fire safe protects our most precious physical items, our hearts preserve our most precious emotional and spiritual ones. By being mindful of what we store in our hearts, we can ensure that when life's inevitable fires come, the best parts of us will emerge. Choose wisely, and fill your heart's safe with love, joy, and connection. These are the treasures that will sustain you through any storm. But remember, we cannot change our spirit; we can only change what we put and accept into our hearts. And ironically, by surrendering your heart to God, you will gain total control of it. Be strong, be humble, be a warrior.